Saturday, August 18, 2007

Stuff I Don't "Get"

I feel that I'm a fairly intelligent person, but there's a number of things in this day and age that I truly don't get that other people love or at the very least accept blindly. The following is a list of those things. Some of them are obvious, others not so much. This list is not necessarily complete, just some ideas that came to mind:

1. Lenny Bruce
2. Jacques Tati films
3. Will Farrell movies
4. Julia Roberts' beauty
5. Bush's high approval ratings in 2007
6. Bob Dylan's singing (except maybe on "Lay Lady Lay")
7. The "9/10" on gasoline prices
8. Sales tax is separate in the US
9. Daylight savings time
10. People who don't remember their own childhood
11. People who don't let you merge when you are signaling on time and then change to the lane you were in when you finally do merge
12. Pretentious people
13. Vitamins and "Ask your doctor if it's right for you" medications
14. Discounts on stamps for two ounce letters
15. Islamic extremists
16. Non-Islamic extremists
17. Multiple logos on TV screens
18. Scrolling text and moving graphics on TV screens
19. The high praise for TV shows like "Arrested Development" and "The Office"
20. Dane Cook's comedy
21. The US boycott of Cuba in 2007
22. "Matrix" movies
23. "Lord of the Rings" movies
24. Chris Tucker
25. Martin Lawrence
26. Bernie Mac
27. Iphones
28. Apple-only fanatics
29. Scooby-Doo
30. Hedwig
31. Standing in line for movies or products that are commonly available
32. Brad Pitt
33. Tony Danza (except on "Taxi")
34. People who have no knowledge or interest in anything that came out before they were born
35. "Reality" shows
36. "Entertainment Tonight" and those type of shows
37. Eddie Izzard
38. Whoopi Goldberg
39. Rachael Ray
40. Dr. Phil
41. Tyra Banks
42. Oprah Winfrey
43. David Letterman's show ever since he moved to CBS
44. "The Family Guy"
45. "American Dad"
46. Carl's Jr. commercials
47. People who get upset at the things people like Anne Coulter says
48. Terminally flaky people
49. The fact that there seems to be an endless supply of ammunition in Iraq, so much so that people can randomly shoot their guns off into the air when their soccer team wins
50. Why we don't have Social Security taken out of our checks all year long and then the SS administration complaining that they don't have enough funds to pay everyone
51. No socialized medicine in the US
52. The fact that socialism is considered a dirty word in the US
53. Jackson Pollack paintings
54. Robin Williams being compared to Jonathan Winters
55. Humorless superhero movies
56. Excessive use of penguins in animated films
57. Why I don't make more money
58. Taking your shoes off at the airport
59. The uproar about Janet Jackson's tit on the Superbowl
60. The fact that making lists like this does absolutely nothing to change these things

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